Marital Stress and Childhood Cancer

• Use friends and family in addition to your spouse to talk with, vent to, etc.
• Find time to have fun together, including going out on a date.
• Cut back on extra responsibilities if possible.
• Share the care of the sick child as well as the siblings with your spouse. Attend important meetings with doctors and other specialists together.
• Recognize how you normally cope with stress, how it may be different from the way your spouse copes, and support the other's ways of coping.
• Try learning new coping strategies.
• Remember both of you are stressed out; when tensions flare give each other some space to vent and some understanding.
• Remember to say thanks. There are many things to do every day and it's easy to take each other for granted.
• Deal with conflict directly; withdrawing or exploding doesn't move toward a solution or resolution.
• Keep your eye on resolving conflict, not assigning blame.
• Ask yourself what part you may play in increasing your partner's stress level. Ask your spouse for specifics. Take time to listen to any feedback without defending yourself.
• Communicate about things other than the sick child and functional topics.
• Recognize that you may be at a different place from your spouse, emotionally, at the time of diagnosis, at a relapse, and off treatment.

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